Drop the World and All Your Expectations
by MrJamesileee
Summary: Folly J. Canon through DtW part one.
1. Chapter 1

Drop the World and All Your Expectations

Author: MrJamesileee

Ship: Fiona/Holly J

Context: Canon through DTW pt 1

Rating: PG15

"Spring dance…" Anya said excitedly, trying like hell to use left handed scissors with her right hand- and failing. "Seems like the perfect time to tell Holly J that you loooove her," she sang.

"Remember the part where I didn't want to talk about it and you were going to keep your mouth shut?" Fiona warned with a raised eyebrow.

Anya stopped cutting and stared at Fiona flat, resolve-face in full effect.

"I'm getting over it, alright?" Fiona sighed out, caving. "I have to."

"What if you don't?" Anya had to ask.

"I will. I have to. I won't mess up our friendship because of some stupid feelings…"

"I meant- what if you don't have to?"

"Have to what?" Holly J asked, suddenly in the classroom behind the two girls.

"Ummm…" Anya and Fiona stumbled at once.

"Choose the right accessories for her dress," Anya blurted out. "Maybe she can wear what she really wants to wear, even if she doesn't think it will work out quite right," she added with a sideways glance at Fiona.

"Oh…kay. Whatever," Holly J rolled her eyes, lost, but decided to leave it as such.

"What's with the flowers?" Fiona asked, catching Holly J's eye and unintentionally holding it.

"Well, I'm newly single. The weight of the world is off my shoulders," Holly J breathed her hair out of her face, smiling. "So I'm here to formally ask you both to be my dates to the spring dance."

"Of course!" Fiona answered a bit too quickly, earning a questioning look from Anya.

"I'd be honoured," Anya agreed, trying hard to sound as cheesy as Fiona did accidentally.

"Excellent," Holly J said with a grin. "And to make it official…" she approached Fiona first, slipping the yellow daisy behind her ear as she stared into the girl's crystal eyes. Anya took her opportunity of distraction to creep behind Holly J, in Fiona's eye-line, to make kissy faces and a heart-shape with her hands. Fiona glanced at Anya, breaking Holly J's gaze and confusing the girl even further.

"What's going on with you two?" Holly J asked, a little more seriously than the situation required.

"Nothing," Anya and Fiona unintentionally spat in unison, only making them look guiltier.

"You're not hooking up or anything, are you?" Holly J forced a chuckle despite her seriousness. "Because I don't think I'd be ok with that," she smirked, but the real fear was evident behind her eyes.

"Pfft!" Fiona scoffed out, and Anya didn't know whether or not to be offended. "I mean, you _know_ that's crazy," she elaborated.

"Yeah, and I think Fiona has her sights set elsewhere," Anya said pointedly, retaliation for apparently not being good enough for Fiona's standards, based on the girl's reaction.

"I do not…" Fiona argued through her teeth.

"Oh you _so _do," Anya shot back.

"Should I regret wanting you two to be friends?" Holly J asked with an uncomfortable laugh.

"No!" the two said simultaneously again.

"I'm not so sure…" Holly J shook her head, really wondering what the hell was going on.


	2. Chapter 2

"You didn't have to be so obvious," Fiona blurted out, standing in her walk-in closet with Anya, taking the first opportunity sans Holly J to bring it up.

"You wouldn't go for me?" Anya asked sincerely. "Really? I mean, if you weren't already _in looove_…" she sang.

"Anya." Fiona stared straight-faced.

"I'm kidding. Well, mostly. You didn't have to act like I was a leper."

"I wasn't. I was acting like the idea of the two of us secretly hooking up behind Holly J's back was absurd. It is," Fiona told her.

"I know," Anya admitted, shrugging. "Just tell her already, so I don't have to tease you behind her back anymore."

"Why would I tell her? To humiliate myself? This isn't something I need to get off my chest. If I told her it wouldn't get me anywhere but awkwardness and losing my best friend." Fiona said sadly, sitting on the bench with her dress in her hands.

"What if it got you more than that?" Anya suggested.

"Like what? A punch in the face?" Fiona rolled her eyes.

"No. A girlfriend."

"How would telling her get me a girlfriend? So I can be rejected by her and move on to some girl I don't even care about?"

"What makes you so sure that she wouldn't go for it?" Anya approached, lowering her voice.

"Um, first of all, she's straight."

"Yeah, and a week ago everyone would have assumed you to be, too," Anya countered.

"She's straight."

"So? What's straight? If you love someone, you love them. And I'm not convinced she doesn't," she said, making her best 'what if?' face.

"I am."

"Hey guys—" Holly J stopped as she entered the closet to find Fiona and Anya speaking closely and quietly, seemingly interrupting yet again. "I feel like every time I walk into a room with you two you stop talking," she admitted uncomfortably.

"No, no… it's not like that," Anya insisted.

"Then what were you talking about?" Holly J inquired, looking to Fiona in hopes of getting a more honest answer from her eyes.

"Gay stuff," Anya piped up.

"Maybe we need to get you some straight friends," Holly J laughed at the response.

"I always have _you_, right Holly J?" Anya squinted and poked at her playfully.

"Ha ha," she said dryly. "Zip me up."

"Here, I'll do it," Fiona offered, already to the girl's back.

"No, it's ok. You're busy," Holly J threw out quickly, not looking Fiona in the eye.

"I am?" Fiona raised an eyebrow, not understanding Holly J's odd demeanor. She guessed it was just because Anya was there, and Holly J was never quite the same with Fiona under the eye of others. That bothered her too, though she decided it shouldn't.

"Yeah," Holly J dismissed, turning to Anya to zip her dress.

"Ok… well I'm going to go change," Fiona shook her head, irritated and confused, and left the room.

"Will you tell me what's going on?" Holly J asked Anya quickly as Anya zipped her dress.

"_Me_? What's going on with _you_, little miss awkward?" Anya called her out.

"Don't turn this around. You and Fiona have been acting weird all day. If you're together, just tell me, okay? I think I deserve to know." Holly J said seriously, her eyes and voice shaking.

Anya stared at her, searching for any hint of joking behind her eyes; she found none. Instead she found fear and sadness.

"You're serious, aren't you?" Anya couldn't believe it. Was that jealousy she saw?

"Well something's going on…" Holly J grumbled, unable to admit that she really was afraid it was true.

"Holly J, Fiona and I are _not_ together. We're barely friends! Nothing is going on," Anya promised earnestly.

"I don't think whatever weirdness I'm seeing is just in my head," skeptical Holly J said, shaking her head as she tried to get back to reality.

"And _I_ don't think whatever weirdness I'm seeing _from you _is just in my head, either," Anya challenged.

Fiona walked in silently; crimson dress accenting her flawless skin beautifully and Holly J's breath caught. She found herself staring quietly for a long time before Anya's 'ahem' made her realize that she'd been lost.

"So…." Anya said way too loudly, "guess we should finish getting ready."

"I rented some dvds and got bagels for the sleepover," Fiona said suddenly, needing to fill the apparently empty conversation space and the look in Holly J's eye.

"Cool," Anya smiled.

"Oh…" Holly J started, looking like a deer in headlights, "did I forget to tell you? I can't stay over tonight. My mom needs me to do something for her tomorrow," she said uncomfortably, slowly.

"So leave in the morning," Fiona said, her demeanor visibly crushed.

"I can't. She needs me early," she spat.

"Oh… ok," Fiona shrugged, turning to her clothing rack and trying to act casual.

Anya smacked Holly J hard across the arm once Fiona's back was turned away from them. She raised her hands in a giant shrug motion and mouthed, 'What the hell?', but Holly J just shrugged sadly and turned away from her.


	3. Chapter 3

"What the hell are you doing?" Anya only had a minute before Fiona would return from the bathroom, so she would have to bitch fast.

"What?" Holly J played dumb, badly.

"No sleepover?"  
"My mom—"

"Your mom shit! You made that up on the spot and you _need _to know how obvious it was. Fiona knows, too."

"I didn't—" Holly J couldn't keep herself, or her lies, together anymore.

"Why?"

"My mom needs me," Holly J lied quietly.

"I wasn't going to do this because I know it won't end well, but you've left me no choice," Anya began. Holly J just narrowed her eyes in waiting. "I think you like her. Like, _like _like her. And I think you know it. You're not confused. You're not questioning. You _really _like her and you can't handle it," Anya shot at the now cowering girl.

"That's insane," Holly J scoffed, rolling her eyes and subconsciously looking behind Anya in hopes that Fiona would return and therefore end this conversation.

"It was fine before, because you thought you could just pretend forever, but then she came out and it got too real for you. And suddenly you're wondering if I'm hooking up with her behind your back, or what we're talking about when you're not around. And you stare at her when she walks into a room and you won't sleepover—"

"What's going on?" Fiona asked, behind Holly J suddenly. To her, it appeared as though Holly J was being attacked and berated, and Fiona would not allow that. "Are you ok?" she asked Holly J seriously, turning her by the shoulders to look at her terrified face.

"I was just bitching at her for not sleeping over. It wasn't serious," Anya insisted, seeing the protectiveness in Fiona.

"Really?" But she asked Holly J, not Anya.

"Yeah, really," Holly J breathed out. "You know Anya can be quite a bitch sometimes," she added, throwing a knowing glare at Anya.


	4. Chapter 4

They danced as an awkward group, Holly J, Fiona and Anya, a million silent conversations going on within and around them. At least the blaring music helped to drown out their deafening tension. All three girls pretended that everything was fine, and they did it well.

"I'm going to get a drink. Do you need anything?" Fiona asked Holly J, leaning into her ear to be heard over the music.

"No, I'm good," Holly J shouted back, trying to keep her body as far from Fiona's as possible, leaning away.

"Are you ok?" Fiona had to ask, but she leaned in a little _too_ closely this time, her lips accidentally brushing Holly J's ear as she spoke.

"I'm fine!" Holly J shouted irritably, jumping obviously away from the girl.

Fiona stared at her for a moment and sighed deeply before turning and walking away. She knew something was up; how could she not? And she would make sure that Holly J knew that she knew, even if she couldn't do a damn thing about it.

"Way to not be awkward," Anya elbowed her.

"Way to be a bitch," Holly J responded.

"Hey, don't take your insecurity out on me, Holly J. Don't take it out on her, either."

"I'm not," Holly J said softly as she watched Fiona across the room, talking to a few kids at the drink table.

"The hell you're not. You're being a dick to both of us. I can take it, because I get why, but she doesn't. And to her, I bet you look like a huge, cold-hearted bitch right now," Anya said, not to be mean, but hoping to get Holly J to actually understand how she was coming across.

"Leave me alone, Anya," Holly J sighed, defeated and deflated, as suddenly she noticed a girl approach Fiona across the room.

"Why? Because you can't take it when I tell you true stuff that you don't want to hear?" Anya asked.

"Who's that?" Holly J asked, having heard nothing that Anya had said as she watched the girl blatantly flirting with Fiona.

"Who is who?" Anya followed Holly J's gaze to Fiona and her new acquaintance. She rolled her eyes and wished Holly J would just get over herself. "That's Divya," she told her. "A junior. She's the treasurer of the LGBT club," she added.

"What? Does Fiona like have a gay sign on her now?" Holly J asked, her irritation apparent.

"No… but she's out now. So odds are some girls are going to be chatting her up now and then," Anya corrected.

"Do you think she'd go for someone like that?" Holly J asked sadly, her eyes never leaving Fiona as Divya touched her arm subtly, laughing at something as they spoke.

"Someone like what? Cute? Out? Not you?" Anya asked, but Holly J just quickly glared at her before returning her eyes to Fiona. "She doesn't seem to mind terribly."

Holly J's blood burned as she watched Divya ask Fiona to dance, and Fiona reluctantly accept. Divya led her out onto the dance floor like she was fresh meat, and the discomfort could be seen in Fiona's eyes. It could be seen by Holly J, anyway.

"She doesn't want this," Holly J said, mostly to herself.

"What?" Anya asked, confused.

"She's just being nice. She doesn't want to dance with her."

"How do you know?" Anya asked.

"I can see it in her eyes. She's uncomfortable," Holly J couldn't tear her gaze away. Her body forgot to blink, and she had an awful pain in the pit of her stomach, like being ripped apart with a shard of ice.

"If she didn't want to dance with the girl, she wouldn't have," Anya shrugged, not fully seeing the severity of the situation to Holly J.

"No, she… she doesn't want this."

"Are you trying to convince yourself?" Anya chuckled.

"No. She's mad at me." It hit Holly J like a cold blow to the face; this was her own fault.

"What are you talking about?" Anya really was lost now.

"She's mad at me for being so weird with her."

"So she's dancing with some girl?" Anya scoffed.

"Yeah," she nodded sadly, staring at Divya pulled Fiona closer as they swayed.

"You're in love with her…" Anya said quietly as the depth of the situation finally hit her.

"She's coming back," Holly J turned away quickly, as though Fiona hadn't already seen her staring the whole time.

"Hey, I'm sorry about that. I didn't mean to momentarily bail," Fiona said lightheartedly, acting like everything was fine.

"Who was that?" Holly J asked with just a bit too much passion and jealousy in her voice.

"Uh, her name's Divya," Fiona said quietly.

"So did you have fun?" Holly J practically spat.

"Sure. It was fine," Fiona tried to keep calm and speak normally but her heart was pounding in her ears.

"Awesome!" Holly J shouted, thick with sarcasm, before pushing past Fiona and storming away, out of the gym.

"Damn it!" Fiona yelled, looking to a concerned Anya. "She doesn't get to do this to me anymore!" she said before rushing off in the direction of Holly J.

"This should be fun," Anya rolled her eyes and slumped in a nearby chair.

"What the _hell _is your problem?" Fiona screamed, finding Holly J alone in a secluded hallway.

"Not now, Fiona," Holly J said, defeated and embarrassed.

"Not now? When? You think you can just call all the shots! We talk when you want to talk. We don't when you don't. Not everything is up to you, Holly J!"

"Do you like her?" was all Holly J could manage to get out.

"What if I do?" she challenged.

"Do you?" Holly J screamed, the tears that were filling her eyes finally ready to spill over.

"What do you care, Holly J? Why do you think you get to care? First it was Adam and now this girl that I don't even know. What makes you think you have any say in who I like?" Fiona couldn't be unintentionally intentionally lead on or tossed around anymore. She wanted answers, honesty, and if Holly J wasn't ready to offer them up, Fiona couldn't take her crap anymore.

"I don't!" Holly J shouted, feeling herself begin to crumble. "I don't get to care, right? You like whoever you like, and you do whatever you want, and I'm just not allowed to care!"

And then she was gone, down the hallway and out of sight before Fiona could even remember to breathe. Even if there was a chance of Holly J returning her feelings, it's not like the girl would ever allow herself to admit it. Fiona sighed and turned back to the gym, torn between chasing after Holly J and going home to cry. The former was ill-timed and she knew it. The latter was ill-timed but probable.


	5. Chapter 5

"I'm going home. You don't have to stay over tonight," Fiona told Anya as she approached her in the gym.

"What happened?"

"Holly J hates me and I just want to be alone," Fiona sighed.

"She doesn't hate you," Anya offered, not sure of anything, but knowing that as fact. "And Divya asked about you, but I didn't know what to tell her."

"It doesn't matter," Fiona shrugged carelessly.

"You don't like her?" Anya asked, though she knew better.

"No, I don't like her!" Fiona snapped, as though the idea was absurd.

"Why'd you dance with her then?"

"I didn't have any reason not to," Fiona admitted honestly.

"Hey, there you are," Divya said with a smile, suddenly next to Fiona. "Do you want to dance again?"

"I…" Fiona contemplated her words carefully. "I can't. I'm sorry. I don't want to give you the wrong impression, and you seem like a really nice girl…"

From the doorway of the gym, Holly J watched Divya talk to Fiona, again. She wasn't allowed to care, but that didn't make her stop. As she began to approach, Divya walked away, looking defeated, and Fiona sat down on a big chair, looking like she was about to cry. Holly J wondered if the sad looks of the two girls were related, and she deeply hoped they weren't.

Anya spotted Holly J from afar and didn't know if she should get the hell out of the way or wait and watch. She opted for the latter.

Holly J touched Fiona's arm softly, timidly, drawing her attention.

"Do you want to dance?" Holly J asked quietly, but Fiona couldn't make out the words over the music, so she stood up to be nearer to Holly J and her voice.

"What?" Fiona asked, unsure how much space (literally and figuratively) she should keep between them.

"Will you dance with me?" Holly J asked softly into Fiona's ear, making no effort to keep her distance. Fiona noted that the current song would imply slow dancing, and the fear in Holly J's eyes and voice confirmed her intent.

"I…" Fiona was taken aback, but the terrified look in Holly J's blue eyes drew her in further, despite her confusion. "Yeah," she nodded.

"Do you want to dance?" Owen approached Anya timidly, but she quickly raised her hand to 'shh' him as she watched the exchange between Fiona and Holly J.

"One minute!" she scolded.

Holly J smiled apprehensively and gently entwined her hand with Fiona's, her body suddenly feeling like it was on fire. Fiona lead Holly J out on to the dance floor and slid her arms around the girl's waist, intentionally keeping distance between their bodies. Holly J's arms wrapped naturally around Fiona's neck and she pulled the girl closer without even realizing.

"Let's dance over here!" Anya pulled Owen by the arm to a spot on the dance floor where she could see the girls without being obvious about it.

"What's going on?" Owen asked confused, but complied anyway.

"It's happening…"

"I'm sorry," Holly J said, looking into Fiona's eyes as their bodies swayed instinctively. "I freaked out."

"I don't blame you," Fiona admitted, concentrating hard to keep her hands from moving along Holly J's back. "You figured out what I was feeling and you didn't know how to be around me," she presumed. "It's understandable."

"What _are_ you feeling?" Holly J asked, staring into Fiona's scared crystal eyes.

"Come on, Holly J. It's hard enough. Do you really want to torture me more?" Fiona shook her head, not understanding why Holly J would put her through this.

"No, I…" Holly J contemplated, regaining eye contact. "I want to hear you say it," she whispered.

Gulp. A surge ran through Fiona's body at hearing the words. She was surprised by Holly J's directness. She was more surprised by the clouded over look in Holly J's eyes, and by the fact that the girl's gaze had just jumped down to her lips and back again. Everything Fiona needed to know was in that look. Holly J was being brave, the best way she could, despite the fear that she felt. It was Fiona's turn to do the same. Nervously she moved her hand from Holly J's back to her face, brushing the hair behind her ear and allowing her hand to linger on the girl's neck. She leaned in closely to Holly J's ear and felt the girl's breath catch.

"I'm in love with you," Fiona whispered, her lips brushing Holly J's ear less accidentally this time. When she pulled back to look at the girl, Holly J's eyes were closed, her movements stilled. Frozen.

A blush had long ago crept onto Holly J's cheeks and she felt vulnerable under Fiona's intense gaze. Rather than run away again, she buried her embarrassed face in Fiona's shoulder, allowing herself to hide without pushing the girl away. Fiona didn't know what to think. She had said the words at Holly J's request, but she didn't yet know the intent behind the request. Was it a simple ego stroking? A clarification?  
"I don't expect you to have to come up with some lame way to let me down," Fiona said quietly, letting Holly J off the hook in her own way.

"Ok," Holly J nodded without picking her head up from Fiona's shoulder.

"Ok," Fiona said back, internally rolling her eyes. 'Ok?' What the hell did that mean? Would she never get a direct line from the girl?

Suddenly Fiona felt Holly J's warm lips barely graze her collarbone- once, twice- before nuzzling her face into hiding once again. Fiona smiled. Her direct line, finally. She moved her hands slowly up and down Holly J's back, unintentionally drawing her closer as the girl's face remained hidden in her neck. Holly J's warm breath was beginning to drive her crazy.

"I'm scared." It was barely audible over the music and the pounding of Fiona's heartbeat, but she heard Holly J's words.

"It's ok to be scared," Fiona whispered, nudging Holly J's head with her face, drawing reluctant eye contact.

"I don't like situations when I can't foresee the outcome. That I don't know what to do with," Holly J admitted, like it was new news.

"I know you don't," Fiona chuckled, smiling at the girl. "But it's just me, Holly J. Don't be scared of me."

"I'm not scared of you," Holly J insisted, her gaze accidentally dropping to Fiona's lips again. "I'm scared of _this_." The 'this' needed not be explained.

"There's nothing to be scared of, Holly J. We can do anything."

Holly J got lost in Fiona's eyes, bewildered by it all. There was so much love reflected in those blue pools that it was equally terrifying and elating.

"I might kiss you," Fiona said quietly, staring into Holly J's eyes as she spoke.

"Right now?" Holly J gulped, her excitement but terror unable to be hidden.

"Nope," Fiona cracked a smile at the realization that the ball was totally in her court, and that was just where Holly J wanted it. "Maybe later," she smirked.

"Oh," Holly J nodded seriously, unsure if it was a joke or if Fiona was just being very literal. "When?" she asked, sounding like a scared little girl.

Fiona smiled widely and leaned into Holly J's ear again. "So you _want_ me to kiss you?" she whispered.

"Yes…" Holly J breathed out, her body tingling, both impressed by and fearful of her admission.

"Good," Fiona said softly, running the back of her hands up Holly J's sides. "I'll kiss you whenever you want. I can't guarantee I'll be able to keep myself from it for long."


	6. Chapter 6

"Anya, have you seen Holly J? I need to talk to her about the DJ funds," Mr. Simpson approached casually as they danced.

"Not now!" Anya yelled, practically scolding him, too.

"Geez… sorry," he grumbled.

"No, I mean, you can't talk to her right now. Can it wait, please?" she tried to correct her demeanor and tone.

"Oh..kay. What's going on?" he asked, lost.

"I think Holly J and Fiona are about to make out," Owen said excitedly, his gaze drawing Snake's attention to the girls out on the dance floor.

"Oh," he coughed awkwardly. "Well, good for them," Mr. Simpson cleared his throat. "Tell her I'd like to talk to her when she's free?"

"You got it, Mr. S," Anya nodded.

Having Fiona's hands on her, their bodies even near each other, was becoming too much for Holly J. Just because she wasn't ready to kiss the girl in front of everybody at their spring dance didn't mean she didn't want to, or make herself stop thinking about it. Fiona's hands ran up and down her sides, never touching too much or for too long. She would be respectful even if it was killing her, and making Holly J flush.

Holly J's hands ran softly through Fiona's hair, occasionally tugging at the tips before going back to rest on the warm skin of her neck. She was affecting Fiona in turn, whether she knew it or not. Fiona's head was spinning. Part of her still expected Ashton Kutcher to jump out and tell her she was on Gay High School Punk'd. Did Holly J really feel something more for her? It sure seemed that way, and it seemed that she was allowing herself to feel it, finally. But Fiona couldn't be expected to be respectful forever, especially if Holly J kept looking at her so deeply.

"Anya's watching us," Fiona said quietly upon noticing, not to scare Holly J, just to make her aware.

"Great," Holly J rolled her eyes. "She really ripped into me today," she admitted.

"I knew it! About not staying over?"

"About… a lot of things that I needed ripped into about," she chuckled.

"She found out how I felt about you a few days ago. That's why it seemed like we stopped talking when you walked into the room." Fiona felt it was only fair to tell Holly J now that the big gay cat was out of the bag.

"What? What did she say?" Holly J was surprised but relieved, and embarrassed for her previous assumptions.

"She mostly just kept telling me to tell you the truth. And made kissy faces behind your back and stuff," Fiona laughed.

Holly J cracked up as a wave of foolishness ran over her. What a moron. She accused them of hooking up behind her back when they were really talking about her. No wonder everyone had been so annoyed with her; she had been acting like an idiot.

"I'm so stupid," Holly J shook her head and rested her face on Fiona's shoulder again.

"No you're not. You didn't know what was going on." Fiona smelled the strawberry scent of Holly J's hair and began to melt.

"She, um, she pretty much called me out today, about you," Holly J told her. "That I…liked you, and that I was being stupid not knowing how to act, and then when I got jealous about Divya—"

"You were jealous?" Fiona said, mock-shocked.

"Shut up," Holly J chuckled embarrassedly again, hiding her face and staying silent for a moment. "I was _really _jealous," she had to admit. "I kind of still want to punch her."

"After you ran away in the hall I told her it wasn't going to happen. That I didn't want to lead her on, but my heart was elsewhere," Fiona told her.

"Oh?" Holly J thought she actually felt her heart skip a beat.

"Oh," Fiona nodded in confirmation, leaning in slowly and kissing Holly J's temple, then her cheekbone just below her eye. This time Holly J felt her heart stop. "Anya's making kissy faces again," she whispered, catching the girl peeking around Owen's shoulder.

Holly J turned in Anya's direction and made eye contact with the girl for the first time. She stuck her tongue out goofily and flipped her off with a silly grin.

"Mr. Simpson wants to talk to you after you're done making out!" Anya shouted across the floor to Holly J, just to make a point, and Holly J nuzzled Fiona in hiding once again. Fiona didn't mind at all.

"So is the sleepover back on?" Anya asked with a wide grin, rushing to the girls as they all exited the dance floor.

"Um…" Fiona looked to Holly J questioningly. "I don't know. We haven't discussed it. Do you still want to stay over?" she asked Anya.

"Not for me, silly! For you two!" Anya laughed. "I don't think I'll be encroaching on _your _sleepovers for a while!"

Holly J turned bright red with nowhere to hide. She fought the urge to bury her face in Fiona's neck even though they were no longer dancing.

"You don't have to stay over," Fiona assured nervous Holly J quietly, leaning nearer to her and wishing that she could stay so close permanently.

"I…" Holly J stopped when she noticed Anya staring at them, eagerly awaiting each word that was spoken. "Will you stop that?" Holly J smacked her arm. "I know you've been making kissy faces behind my back all week."

"So don't you feel dumb now for thinking that I was hooking up with Fiona?" Anya asked with a laugh. "You really worried we were."

"Yes, I feel dumb. Thanks for pointing it out," Holly J said dryly.

"Any time," Anya winked. "Simpson really does want to talk to you though. DJ money or something."

"Right…shit," Holly J scanned the room for the principal. She found him looming in the corner. "Anya, while I'm gone, don't try anything with my—" she tried to be funny, but stumbled over her brain's natural nomenclature regarding Fiona.

"Your _what_?" Anya asked excitedly.

"Yeah. Your what?" Fiona poked with a grin, loving to see the girl embarrassed. Loving even more that she was about to be referred to as her girlfriend.

"Damn it," Holly J shook her head, mortified. "I shouldn't have wanted you two to be friends."

"It's ok, Holly J," Fiona ran her hand down Holly J's back, leaving it to rest on the small of it. "We're just giving you a hard time. You're not an easy girl to embarrass."

"You wouldn't have thought that tonight," Holly J noted, mentally trying to count the number of times she had blushed in the last hour.

"I think you gave Owen a boner," Anya piped up suddenly. "Though, probably doesn't take much."

"Eww," Holly J and Fiona said in unison, then laughed at themselves.

"I have to go talk to Simpson," Holly J sighed, finding it suddenly very undesirable to walk away from Fiona, even for just a few minutes.

"I'll be here," Fiona smiled at her softly.

"Oh, and…" Holly J began to speak before her conscious mind knew what her lips were going to say, "I think I _would _like to sleep over tonight, if the offer still stands," she said shyly.

"It does," Fiona said, lost in the girl's eyes, in the expression of love (and was it desire?) within them.

"Good," Holly J nodded, her face serious. She turned on her heel and walked away quickly before her imagination could run away with her.

"Woot woot!" Anya called with a wide grin. "Now I think you gave me a boner!" She thought she was being really funny until she realized that everyone within a ten foot radius had heard her. It was her turn to be embarrassed. "Kidding…" she added quietly, but no one heard it anyway.


	7. Chapter 7

_Thanks so much to everyone who reviewed. I always want to know what you think, good or bad. This is a long chapter, so you're welcome or I'm sorry, depending on how you feel about that. Let me know what you think, and thanks for taking the time to read._

Holly J stood, shifting her weight from foot to foot in Fiona's kitchen, waiting for the girl to return from the bathroom and letting her nerves get the best of her. Everything between them so far had gone perfectly in her mind, but she didn't account for the sheer terror she would feel once she was alone with Fiona. But with the terror came excitement so thrilling that Holly J could feel it running through her body. Her veins felt like they were pumping fire, and Fiona wasn't even in the room.

"Hey," Fiona said softly, approaching the silently contemplative girl slowly. "You ok?" she touched her arm tentatively.

"Yeah, you?" Holly J shot too quickly, making obvious her discomfort.

"You can relax, Holly J," Fiona said quietly, brushing the hair away from Holly J's face gently, running her fingers down the tresses. "It's just a sleepover, just like always. Nothing has to change," she assured her.

"But it's not just like always," Holly J said, backing away momentarily before missing the closeness and stepping even nearer. "It's different now."

"It doesn't have to be, if you don't want. If you want to go back to…" Fiona stepped back herself this time, giving Holly J the freedom to run, if she needed it.

"I don't!" Holly J stopped Fiona's mind from running with negative possibilities. "I don't want to go back to anything. I just need to adjust."

"Me too," Fiona nodded, stepping forward and wrapping her arms around Holly J's waist, pulling her into a very welcomed embrace.

Holly J sighed happily into Fiona's neck, running her hands through the girl's hair and feeling instantly calmed. They stood together for a long time, just taking each other in and feeling contentedly at peace. Fiona had a way of calming Holly J and making her heart race at the same time. She loved the combination.

"Let's get changed into comfy clothes and relax, ok?" Fiona asked, looking into Holly J's eyes.

Holly J nodded with a smile and allowed Fiona to lead her to the bedroom. Even though it was just to change, Holly J's heart sped up and she felt a sheen of sweat subtly covering her skin. Whatever this feeling was, she needed to keep it in check. Her body was reacting to Fiona without her mind's consent, and it was exhilaratingly terrifying.

Fiona found a set of pajamas for herself, and handed over a set of Holly J's as well, taking a moment to smirk at the fact that the girl already had a drawer there. Holly J noticed the look of amusement on Fiona's face and became temporarily insecure. Part of her worried that this was all a big joke.

"What's funny?" Holly J couldn't help but ask, taking the plaid shorts and shirt from Fiona.

"You already have a drawer," Fiona smiled. "And a key."

Holly J smiled, relieved. Now that it occurred to her, that was pretty amusing. Had this always been meant to be?

"I'll go change in the bathroom and you can stay here," Fiona told her. Suddenly the prospect of changing in the same room made her worry that it would make Holly J uncomfortable.

"Ok," Holly J nodded, and Fiona knew that she had been right to change the normal way of things.

Fiona headed toward the bathroom but was stopped when Holly J hesitantly stepped in front of her, unintentionally stopping her short, leaving them only a few inches away from each other, face to face.

"Or…" Holly J began nervously, "you could just stay in here, like always."

"I…ok," Fiona nodded. Whatever Holly J wanted.

"No reason for it to be weird now, right?" Holly J said, but there was a facetious chuckle in her voice.

"Right," Fiona agreed, looking into Holly J's eyes before backtracking across the room and beginning to change. She unzipped her dress and pulled on a t-shirt quickly, but she felt Holly J's eyes on her all the while. When she looked back to her friend, she saw that she hadn't even begun to change, and made no effort to hide the fact that she had been staring at Fiona.

Fiona felt warmth rise up in her cheeks. Watching Holly J watch her sent chills down her spine and her mind racing to places that were anywhere but respectful.

"Will you unzip me?" Holly J asked, her eyes never leaving Fiona's.

'Great,' Fiona thought. All she needed right now was to be even nearer to an unzipped Holly J. Her body couldn't keep from reacting to the girl fully clothed and in the middle of school; how the hell could she expect it to now?

"Sure," Fiona said, as if it was no big deal, but something in Holly J's eyes said differently.

Fiona walked to Holly J slowly, her feet suddenly feeling very heavy. When she neared the girl in the middle of the bedroom, Holly J turned her back to Fiona quickly.  
'God, she smells good,' Fiona thought, but tried to shake it from her mind. Hadn't she had a dream like this once? Once? Who was she kidding? She had had a hundred dreams like this.

She reached for the zipper of Holly J's dress and tried to ignore the heat that she felt emanating from the girl standing in front of her. As she pulled the zipper down slowly, she allowed her fingertips to graze the skin of Holly J's back, inch by inch, as it became exposed. She reached the bottom of the zipper but couldn't manage to pull herself away from the girl.

"There," Fiona said, but she was surprised to hear her voice come out in a raspy whisper.

"Thanks," Holly J whispered back, but she wasn't moving away and her eyes were closed.

Fiona brushed Holly J's hair to the side of her back, feeling the girl's painfully soft skin under her hands. Holly J appeared to have backed nearer to her, so Fiona shut her brain up and allowed her body a moment of control. With one hand on Holly J's waist, she leaned forward and placed a gentle kiss on her back, near her shoulder blade. Holly J immediately allowed her head to fall forward and emitted a small sound that she didn't intend to be audible. It drove Fiona wild. She kissed Holly J's back again, letting her lips linger on the warm skin as her fingers ran down the opening the zipper had created. She kissed a slow line from Holly J's shoulder blade to the nape of her neck and Holly J didn't know how much more she could take. Her body was feeling things that it had never felt, that she had never imagined. She was on fire, and Fiona was both the cause and the cure.

"Fi…" Holly J breathed out, lifting her head as Fiona gently kissed the side of her neck.

"I'm sorry, I…" but as Fiona apologized, beginning to back away, Holly J turned in her arms and grasped her waist, not allowing her to escape.

"Don't be sorry," Holly J's words were rushed, her vision was foggy and her abdomen was throbbing.

"Ok," Fiona said, her eyes darting back and forth between Holly J's eyes and her lips. "I—"

Holly J pressed her fingers to Fiona's lips, silencing her instantly. Fiona kissed Holly J's fingertips instinctively, having no idea what the simple action would elicit in the girl. Holly J had never felt the things she was feeling right now, and Fiona was torn between taking the lead for Holly J's sake and not wanting to jump to conclusions or move too quickly. They stood, frozen, and Fiona kissed Holly J's fingertips again, causing the girl to close her eyes, the sound of a near moan escaping her parted lips.

Fiona practically whimpered. She wanted Holly J so badly. She wanted to taste her. To crawl inside of her and take away a piece to keep forever. But she couldn't. She had to be respectful. It was impossible.

Holly J was beginning to tremble. She traced Fiona's lips with her fingertips, staring shakily into the girl's eyes. "I—" she squeaked out, her words failing her.

Fiona couldn't take it a second longer. She dipped down and barely grazed Holly J's lips with her own, pulling back before any real contact had been made. She leaned in again, slowly, and almost brought their mouths together again. She could feel the warmth of Holly J's breath, could almost taste the girl, but not quite. It was so hard for her not to press the girl against the wall. Restraint. Teasing almost-kisses were all she thought she could get away with. She pulled back to look at Holly J, who she found looked like she was about to lose her mind. Half-lidded and shaky, Holly J stared at her.

"Fiona…" she breathed. "Please."

Fiona's insides jumped upon hearing Holly J's plea. She grasped the back of Holly J's head, gently but firmly, and stared into her eyes for a moment before leaning in and roughly capturing the girl's lips with her own. She hadn't intended it to be rough; the buildup had taken over her.

Holly J moaned the second Fiona's mouth was on hers, momentary relief from the pressure building within her. She grasped Fiona's t-shirt and pulled the girl against her as their lips subtly explored each other. She needed more than subtle exploration. She grabbed the hair at the base of Fiona's head and pulled the girl into her, opening her mouth and allowing Fiona's tongue inside.

The feeling of Holly J grasping her hair to pull her near was painfully arousing to Fiona. As her tongue slid softly against Holly J's, Fiona backed her up until the girl was pressed into the door, clinging to her. There was no 'too close'. There was no 'close enough'. Even with Fiona's tongue fully inside of her mouth, Holly J tugged the girl's hair harder, gasping when Fiona's body pressed completely against hers, pinning her to the door. One of Fiona's hands was on the side of her face, holding her near, while the other ran up and down her ribcage, the satin of her dress beginning to pool under it.

Her dress. Holly J had forgotten about it entirely and it was about to fall off. Fiona sensed a hesitation in her suddenly and released the girl's mouth finally, looking wildly into her eyes.

"My dress…" Holly J panted. "I—I didn't want you to stop. I just, my dress…" she tried to compose herself to absolutely no avail.

"Right," Fiona nodded, equally out of sorts. She backed up until the back of her knees hit the bed and she sat, staring at Holly J.

Holly J's mind was racing. Her body was shaking and she knew that she was wet. Embarrassing? Not tonight. Not with Fiona. She picked up her disregarded pajamas and allowed her dress to fall to the floor, Fiona's eyes on her constantly. They bore into her, set her on fire. No one had ever looked at her the way that Fiona was. No one had ever made her mind, or body, feel the way that Fiona did. Holly J pulled on her pajamas slowly, allowing Fiona to watch her every move. Instead of being embarrassed, she was confidently aroused. Fiona simply sat there, mouth agape, until Holly J was finally clothed. Neither of the girl's breathing had yet returned to normal. It was as though they could communicate all of their thoughts and desires with their eyes from across the room, without a single word being spoken.

Holly J approached Fiona, stopping at the edge of the bed where she sat. She brushed the hair away from the sides of Fiona's face and leaned in, kissing her deeply and slowly. Fiona's hands instinctively went to Holly J's waist, pulling her nearer to straddle her. Holly J kept the kiss slow and rhythmic. Fiona thought her heart was going to explode. Holly J pushed Fiona back by the shoulders, leaning over her without breaking the kiss. Their bodies were too near now. Holly J could feel the heat radiating from Fiona's body. She wanted to take the girl's clothes off, to feel her soft skin against her own. But she couldn't. Not yet. No matter what her body was telling her.

With their hips pressed together, each time that Holly J leaned down to kiss Fiona more deeply, she felt a surge between her legs, and caused a surge between Fiona's. Fiona moaned, despite her best efforts, when Holly J's hips moved against her accidentally. Holly J felt the moan on her lips and couldn't fight eliciting her own. She pulled out of the kiss quickly, startled and frightened by her body, and by what Fiona was inadvertently causing within it.

"Shit," Holly J panted, resting her forehead on Fiona's shoulder, trying to calm herself.

Fiona told herself to breathe, but lying there with Holly J she was surrounded by a chorus of fast heartbeats and she didn't even know whose was whose anymore. She rubbed Holly J's back and held her closely. She didn't want to scare the girl she loved. She certainly didn't want her thinking that this was just physical. The emotion was what made the physical so incredible.

"I love you, Holly J." Fiona didn't know why she had said it. She didn't know that she was going to say it. But there it was.

Holly J picked up her head and looked into Fiona's eyes, which were visibly full of emotion. If she had said it instinctively that meant it was real, right?  
"I love you, Fiona," she told her, eye contact unwavering, and the emotional look in Fiona's eyes multiplied.

"I…" Fiona stuttered.

"I didn't say it just to say it, or just because you did. I said it because I love you. I'm in love with you," Holly J said sincerely, happy tears building subtly in her eyes.

Fiona leaned in swiftly and caught Holly J's lips. She kissed her softly and sweetly, pouring all of the emotion of the exchange into it. It didn't need to be a big conversation. They could express everything they needed to with these new kisses. And they did.


	8. Chapter 8

_Thanks again for all the reviews. I have been trying to update every day thanks to the positive feedback I've been receiving. Thanks for taking the time to read and I hope you keep enjoying. This is a short one. The next ones will be longer, I promise. _

The rays of morning sunlight poured through the curtains, brightening the room and mirroring Holly J's mood. She awoke slowly, peacefully, to find Fiona wrapped securely around her, head on her chest, still very much asleep. Holly J reflected on the previous night's events; how so much could change in such a sort amount of time would always astound her.

Holly J's cell phone rang loudly and she grabbed it from the night stand next to her as quickly as possible in order to avoid waking the sleeping beauty next to her. She hit 'silent' and read that it was her mother calling. You know mothers, and Holly J knew her own; if she didn't answer, her mom would just call incessantly until she did, whether she was expected to be sleeping or not.

"Hello?" she whispered into the phone, watching Fiona constantly for any signs of stirring.

"Holly J, did I wake you?" her mother asked, sounding cheery and relieving the girl's worry that she was calling for a bad reason.

"No, Mom, I just woke up," she whispered. "What's going on?"

"I know it's early. Grandma's coming up for lunch and I thought you should be here if possible."

"Oh, ok. What time?"

"Twelve thirty. Are you hung over?" Mary-Kate asked suddenly, surprising her daughter.

"No," Holly J laughed quietly. "Why?"

"Why are you whispering?"

"Fiona's sleeping," Holly J answered, honestly and instinctively.

"So? You haven't gotten up yet?"

"No, I'm still in bed," she told her, wondering if her response sounded odd and worrying for a moment.

"You could have just gotten up when I called so you wouldn't wake her," Mary-Kate chuckled.

"No, I-" Shit. Holly J caught herself too late, and it wasn't like 'she's pinning me to the bed at the moment' was a viable excuse.

"Is she sleeping _right _next to you?" her mother asked, with a twinge of discomfort in her voice that only a daughter could pick up on.

Holly J wasn't sure how, but suddenly it was like something clicked in her mother. Like she got it. Like it all made sense now.

"Yeah… I don't want to wake her so I'm going to go, ok? I'll be home by twelve thirty." How much did her Mom understand? Was she just making up the fact that her mother alluded to anything? She hoped, but she couldn't be sure right now.

"Oh, I … ok." Holly J could hear her mother swallow awkwardly.

Holly J closed her eyes, hard. She was glad that Fiona was pinning her to the bed, because otherwise she was sure she would be up and pacing worriedly.

"I'll see you for lunch, Mom," Holly J said.

"Ok. Um, Holly J?"

"Yeah?" she worried her racing heart would wake Fiona, now.

"Why don't you ask if Fiona wants to join us for lunch?"

"I… really?" That wasn't at all what she expected her mother to say.

"Sure. I mean, if you want. I know Grandma has been waiting to meet her." But there was no sarcasm in her voice. She meant it.

"Ok, Mom. That would be great," Holly J smiled.

"And after Grandma leaves, you and I have a lot to discuss."


	9. Chapter 9

_sorry the last chapter was mostly filler. this one is, too, but significant filler, i promise. i've had all of these chapters written since DtW aired originally, a year ago, so it's good for me too to go back and review. i don't want you to be bored. the next chapter will be less talk and more action, if you know what i mean. thanks for hanging in there. and reviews always make my day so much brighter. _

Holly J's phone beeped obnoxiously in the middle of lunch, alerting every one of those seated at the table.

"Sorry," Holly J mumbled sheepishly.

And things had been going so well.

"Well Fiona's here, so who's texting?" Mary-Kate asked, not trying to be invasive, but succeeding anyway.

"Just Anya," Holly J answered after reading her approximately three hundredth text from the girl, who was awaiting gossip and answers to her many questions.

"Right!" How did the dance go last night? I haven't thought to ask," Mary-Kate asked, enlightening her mother unintentionally.

"Fine, Mom. Just a dance," Holly J told her, but the remnant of a grin on her face alluded to more.

"Fiona, how did _you_ enjoy the dance?" Holly J's mother asked, obviously not satisfied with her daughter's answer.

"I had a wonderful time, Mrs. S. I'd say it went perfectly," she smiled, but not big enough to let on like there was more to the story.

"Thank you. That's the kind of answer a mother looks for," she chuckled pointedly at Holly J, who just rolled her eyes.

"So, Holly J, how's the love life?" her grandmother asked suddenly, causing Holly J's heart rate to pick up, startled by the random question.

Thump-thump. Thump-thump. "Oh, you know, Grandma…" she tried to blow off.

"What do I know? I know nothing!" her grandma said, itching for more information.

"Well I was seeing a boy recently, but I didn't really care for him," Holly J said, vaguely but truthfully.

"And now?"

"Now…" thump-thump, "Now I think I'm starting to figure out something good," she smiled. "Really good," she couldn't help but beam.

"Excellent!" her grandmother beamed back. "I so hope you'll keep me updated. I may be your grandmother, but I'm not dead. Right, Fiona?"

Was that pointed or circumstantial? Fiona had no clue, and Holly J looked like she was about to stop breathing.

"Right, Mrs. S… two…" Fiona nodded, unsure how to refer to the older woman. Calling her 'Holly J's Grandma' seemed so impersonal.

"Please, call me Carolyn," Grandma smiled. "I'm so glad to have finally gotten to meet you, Fiona. I've heard so many good things about you, from Holly J _and _Mary-Kate. It was due time."

"It was, Mrs.—Carolyn. I'm so glad to meet you, too."

How was it that no matter what the social situation, Fiona always knew just how to be? Holly J watched her friend (girlfriend?) and wondered. Fiona didn't even need to derivate from herself; she simply found the piece of herself appropriate for a situation and implanted it flawlessly. Holly J wished she had so much finesse.

"Oh man, it's late," Holly J half-yawned. "I should probably get you home," she looked to Fiona hopefully as they sat, watching TV with her mother.

"Sure, Holly J. Whenever you're ready," Fiona smiled.

"Are you planning to stay at Fiona's tonight?" Mary-Kate asked, a knowing look in her eye.

"I…uh, well, I _was, _but I thought you wanted to talk?" Holly J asked uncomfortably.

"No, no. It's fine. All that matters—" Mary-Kate stopped herself noticeably, "Everything seems to look fine to me," she corrected with a loving smile.

"Yeah?" Holly J asked excitedly, knowing full well what her mother meant, and that Fiona had absolutely no idea what was going on.

"Of course, sweetheart. But you already knew that, didn't you?"

"Thanks, Mom," she smiled hugging her mother more tightly and sincerely than she had remembered doing in a long time. She thought she should remind herself to hug her like that more often.


	10. Chapter 10

_I'm sorry it took so long to update. They'll be coming more readily now. I also want to apologize because this chapter is pretty much entirely dialogue, but at least it's important dialogue that will lead up to smoochies. please bear with me, and thank you for reading. oh and please review!_

"My mom knows."

The words broke the comfortable silence on the drive to Fiona's condo.

"Knows what?" Fiona asked seriously, wondering where the sudden tension had come from.

"About us. That we're…together." Holly J paused for less than a second, "_Are _we together?" Her worry was apparent.

"Well we're not apart," Fiona chuckled before reaching over and touching Holly J's knee. "Do you _want _us to be together?"

"I…" Holly J thought, wishing that she didn't need to keep her eyes on the road so she could look at Fiona. Maybe she should have saved this conversation for later. "Do you think anybody saw us, at the dance?"

"Saw us dancing?" Fiona half laughed, unsure how to take the question. "I'm sure people did."

"Right. Of course," Holly J nodded nervously. "We were in front of everyone."

"Wait, Holly J, this was about your mom. What does she know, exactly?"

"She… well we spoke this morning while you were asleep and I thought she had an idea about us. She invited you to lunch and said she and I needed to talk after Grandma left."

"Talk about us?" Fiona asked.

"Yeah. But then she changed her mind tonight. So who knows what she thinks," Holly J sighed.

"Maybe she doesn't know anything. Maybe you're just worried," Fiona suggested.

"No, I… she knows, Fi. I feel it," she said, pulling into her parking spot and turning to Fiona.

"How do you feel about it?"

"I'm not sure. I only admitted how I felt about you last night," she breathed out.

"So take your time, then. This doesn't have to put any pressure on you, and it doesn't have to be anything that you don't want."

"But I want it to be…something. I want it to _be_. I want to be with you, no matter what else that means. I'll take it," Holly J smiled sheepishly, shy from her admission.

"I want that too," Fiona smiled, squeezing Holly J's hand. "I want to be with you. It's all I want."

Holly J leaned across the center console and pressed her lips to Fiona's. They kissed for only a moment before Holly J's phone beeped again; she had yet to get back to Anya, and the girl wouldn't allow herself to be forgotten.

"Damn it," Holly J laughed, pulling reluctantly away from Fiona's lips.

"Anya?" Fiona laughed.

"She's dying to know what's going on with us."

"So tell her," Fiona suggested, getting out of the car. "If you want, that is. It might be a good segue, to talk to someone who pretty much already knows what's going on. See how you feel about it."

"Why are you so cool about all this?" Holly J breathed out, astounded by Fiona's understanding.

"Because I love you." Too bold? Maybe. But she had waited and wished to be with Holly J for so long, never expecting to have the chance, and nothing would let her mess it up now. She would be the kindest, most caring person in the world for the girl that she loved. "You should deal with this however you need to, Holly J, because I know it's a lot. You need to be ok with it before I can expect you to be with me."

"I love you, Fiona," Holly J said firmly, stopping and turning to the girl, staring into her eyes. "You're so good to me. So sweet and mature. I've never been treated so well, and I've only been with you for twenty-four hours."

"I'll always be good to you, Holly J.

"You always have been."

* * *

"Damn it, Holly J! You think you waited long enough to call me back?" Anya yelled into the phone, equally annoyed and excited to finally hear from the girl.

"Sorry, An," Holly J chuckled. "I've been kind of busy."

"Busy making out?" she asked excitedly.

"No!"

"Bullshit," Anya laughed.

"Why would you think I've been busy making out?" Holly J played coy badly.

"Uh, because I saw you two at the dance and I know you made out like the second you got home," she said in a 'duh' tone.

"We did not," Holly J argued quietly.

"How long?"

"How long what?" Holly J asked.

"Before you made out, after getting home?"

"Why do you think we made out?"

"How long?"

"About fifteen minutes," Holly J caved.

Anya literally squealed into the phone. "How was it? Did you do it? Did you see her boobs? Was it hot?"

"Anya!" Holly J yelled, taken aback and embarrassed by the barrage of questions.

"You better answer _every single one_ of those questions," Anya said sternly.

Holly J sighed deeply. She was supposed to talk about it, right? And it did feel good to be so open about it. She needed to discuss it all to make it real.

"It was awesome," she said dreamily. "No, we didn't do it. No, I didn't see her boobs," she laughed. "It was the hottest thing I've ever experienced," she admitted.

Anya squealed again. "Tell me more. Details!"

"I told her I love her…"

"Holly J! Oh my God! This is so exciting. Tell me more about the making out."

"Seriously?" Holly J laughed hard, surprised by Anya's excitement, but glad for it. "What do you want to know?"

"Everything! Who started it? Where were you? How far did you get? Are you going to do it soon? Because I'm going to want to hear about that, too," Anya rambled.

Holly J cracked up, shocked. She'd only heard Anya react to other people's gossip, never her own. "Um, we went to get changed. I guess we both started it. It's like…unbelievable, An," Holly J told her. "I've never felt like that, ever."

"So are you gay?" Good old Anya, never much for subtlety.

"I'm going to go with no… but I haven't really thought about it. But I've never been that into it with a guy. I- I really wanted to do it," she had to concede, nearly whispering.

"Wow. Why didn't you?"

"I don't know. It was too soon. We didn't really talk about it, we just had an understanding."

"So… you're going to soon," Anya decided.

"I don't know," Holly J laughed.

"You _so_ are. Where are you right now?"

"At Fi's. She's in the shower."

"Ooooh! Why aren't you in there with her?"

"Are _you_ gay?" Holly J asked her with a laugh.

"No, silly. This is all just so hot," Anya laughed. "So _why _aren't you in there with her?"

"We're not really there yet, Anya. "We've only been together for a day."

"So you _are_ together?"

"Yeah, we are," Holly J smiled.

"This is so awesome! So did you just sit around and make out all day?"

"No, my mum called this morning and told me to come over for lunch with my grandma."

"So you actually left Fiona?" Anya scoffed.

"No, my mom invited her. My grandma wanted to meet her."  
"Oh yeah? That sounds a lot like a couple," Anya grinned.

"My mom knows about us," Holly J said quietly.

"What? You told her?"

"No, I didn't have to."

"Oh my God, Holly J. This is real."

"Yeah, it is," Holly J smiled at the realization.

"Are you going to be together at school on Monday? I mean like, not hide it?"

"I don't know. We have a lot to discuss."

"How long have you been in love with her?"

"I don't know. It just built and built until I couldn't deny it anymore," Holly J told her.

"I'm really glad you went for it, Holly J," Anya told her sincerely.

"Thanks, Anya. It means a lot to me that you support this."

"Of course I support this! I've been waiting for this forever! Well, at least since I knew Fiona was in love with you. I told her to go for it. I totally knew that she had a chance," Anya said proudly.

"You knew?"

"I didn't know, but I had a feeling that you felt the same way."

"I'm actually surprised how ok I am with it. If it weren't her, I don't think I would be. I can't not be ok with it. I'd rather be with her than anything else."

"Holly J, I'm so proud of you," Anya told her happily.

"Thanks, Anya."

"But now I don't have _any _straight friends."


	11. Chapter 11

_Another chapter. Let me know if you like it. Contextually, grammatically... all around. I love feedback. Thank you so much for reading. I hope you're finding the story worth your time._

Holly J knocked on Fiona's bedroom door lightly, unsure if she was yet out of the shower.

"Come in," Fiona called, and Holly J opened the door to find the girl standing at the mirror, wearing her robe.

For a moment, Holly J found herself wondering what Fiona had on _under _that robe, if anything. She laughed at the thought and tried to shake it from her mind.

"Did you talk to Anya?" Fiona asked, looking at Holly J through the reflection as she combed her wet hair.

"Yep," Holly J smiled, approaching slightly. It didn't _look_ like Fiona had anything on under the robe, but maybe that was just her imagination.

"How did it go?" Fiona asked, turning to Holly J, sensing her quietness.

"Fine. Um, can we talk about it later?" Holly J asked, stepping nearer, unable to take her eyes off of the girl.

"Ok. Is everything alright, Holly J?" Fiona worried that the talk with Anya didn't go as 'fine' as Holly J said.

"Yep," Holly J took the comb out of Fiona's hand and set it on the dresser behind her. She ran her hand softly through the girl's wet tresses and looked into her eyes for a moment. Only then could Fiona see what was going on in Holly J's mind.

"Come 'ere," Holly J pulled Fiona toward her by the belt of her robe, kissing her softly.

A mere moment of contact became intense for Holly J, and she opened her mouth and grasped Fiona's head. Holly J backed up slowly, still pulling Fiona with her and never allowing their mouths to part. In a moment, Holly J had reached her destination; the sofa. She sat back on it, immediately pulling Fiona on top of her and deepening the kiss. She wanted to feel Fiona's body. She never wanted to stop kissing the girl. And she had never felt that way about anybody before.

"This isn't really fair," Fiona breathed, pulling away and looking at their attire. She was barely clothed and straddling Holly J who wore jeans, a tank top and a hoodie. She looked into Holly J's eyes, studying the girl's face for a moment before reaching for the zipper of the hoodie and slowly pulling it down. Holly J just stared at her. When it was unzipped, Fiona pushed both sides of the shirt off of Holly J's shoulders and removed it quickly. Still not comparable to being in a robe and underwear.

Fiona kissed Holly J's shoulder; her skin was so soft and inviting. She kissed it again, dragging her lips slowly across the flesh, to Holly J's throat. When she reached the girl's pulse point she sucked on it, hard, causing Holly J to gasp aloud and grab Fiona's hair and thigh. Fiona flicked out her tongue and soothed the skin before biting down. A surge ran through Holly J, to her core. She pushed the collar of the robe away from Fiona's neck, being sure not to expose too much, though she was dying to. She leaned forward and kissed across Fiona's collarbone. She loved the feeling. She allowed her tongue and teeth to become involved once the passion began to overtake her. Fiona grasped Holly J's hair and pulled the girl's mouth desperately to her own, kissing her as deeply as possible and feeling the reverberation of a moan rise up in the girl.

Suddenly they were kissing quickly, desperately, and Holly J didn't notice to stop herself as she ran her hands up both of Fiona's thighs, underneath the robe. The girl's skin was like silk. Fiona's heart was pounding. She pulled Holly J's hair roughly, unintentionally, when the girl's hands reached the top of her thighs and grasped her hipbones, pulling her against her as she instinctively raised her hips to meet the contact. Fiona gasped loudly, pulling her mouth away from Holly J's. Holly J wasn't used to hearing such sounds from the girl. She wanted to cause her to make those sounds every way she could. They stared insanely into each other's eyes. Without warning, Fiona reached between them and untucked Holly J's tank top from her jeans roughly, immediately placing her hand under the fabric to feel the skin of Holly J's smooth stomach. As Fiona's fingertips traced around her belly button, Holly J leaned forward and captured Fiona's lips again. She ran her hands back down the girl's thighs, each sweep a little closer, a little more intense.

"Fiona?" the unmistakable voice of Lara Coyne called out suddenly, the sound of keys jingling an afterthought to the girls. "Are you home?"

"I… shit…" Fiona panted, wide-eyed. The girls were in her bedroom, but the door was open nonetheless. Fiona stood up as gracefully as possible, reluctantly moving her body away from Holly J's, and tried to smooth her robe, but their position was obvious.

Holly J was frozen and terrified. She couldn't compose herself in time and she knew it. Fiona didn't look very composed herself.

"Fiona?" Lara asked, her head suddenly peeking into the bedroom. Holly J was seated on the sofa with her tank top pulled up, while Fiona stood in front of her looking freshly showered and guilty. Both girls were flushed, hair disheveled, and it would have been obvious to anyone, mother or not, just what was being interrupted.

"Hi, Mom," Fiona squeaked out, swallowing hard and turning to her mother, but not walking away from Holly J, who was suddenly adjusting her shirt. "Didn't know you were visiting."

"No, I…" Lara didn't know what to say or how to react. She was certainly surprised by the sight in front of her, though a part of her knew that she shouldn't be. "I guess I surprised you," she chuckled nervously. "Hello, Holly J."

"Hi, Mrs. Coyne," Holly J said, her eyes still wide.

"So, I um…" Fiona stuttered. "I guess I can cross 'talk to my Mom' off of the list," she chuckled, earning a roll of the eyes from Holly J.

"I should go," Holly J said quickly, standing and looking for her hoodie. Where had that gotten to?

"No!" Fiona said, too desperately. "I mean, please don't," she corrected.

"I thought you said you two would never be together?" Lara asked Fiona with a smirk, and Holly J looked at her, shocked and confused.

"I guess I was wrong," Fiona said sheepishly, glad her mother was at least smiling.

"I tried to tell you," Lara offered in a sing-song voice.

"You did not."

"Well I tried to tell you without actually having to tell you," she shrugged.

"What?" Holly J asked, seeing her hoodie in a pile across the room but deciding going to retrieve it in that moment was probably a bad idea.

"It's a long story," Fiona tried to blow off.

"I knew she should have gone for it," Lara told her proudly. "I'm going to make a quick trip to the store for a toothbrush and some things. Do you girls need anything?"

Fiona's eyebrows furrowed and Holly J was pretty sure she had _no_ idea what was going on anymore.

"No, Mom, I think we're ok," Fiona answered awkwardly.

"Ok. I didn't intend to get in so late. The flight was a nightmare. I'm just going to go to sleep when I get back," Lara informed them casually. "Goodnight, girls. Breakfast in the morning?"

"Sure," Fiona agreed, still bewildered.

"You will stay, won't you, Holly J? Fiona will probably have a meltdown if you leave now," Lara laughed.

"I'll stay, Mrs. C," Holly J nodded, smiling slightly.

"Excellent. See you two in the morning." And she left, as though none of the awkwardness was actually awkward at all.

"What just happened?" Fiona asked, flopping back onto the sofa in a daze.

"Are you ok?" Holly J asked, sitting next to her and taking her hand.

"Yeah. I'm…good," Fiona smiled. "Just…wow…"

"How much did she know?" Holly J asked, snuggling up to Fiona's shoulder.

"Well, I kind of came out to her by telling her I was in love with you," Fiona trailed off, unsure how Holly J would react.

"Seriously?" Holly J blinked hard. Fiona just nodded.

"Are you mad?"

"Of course I'm not mad, Fi. At the time you never thought I would know any of this," Holly J shrugged.

"Do you wish you didn't?" Fiona asked sadly.

"Fiona, are you kidding me? I wish I had known earlier! I wish I told you how I felt earlier."

"Really?" Fiona couldn't believe how well Holly J was taking it all.

"Yeah. I mean, I know it all happened when it was supposed to, but I can't help but think about how long we both felt this way without saying it and it just seems like we wasted time, you know?" Holly J told her.

"We didn't. We have time. All the time you want," Fiona smiled, brushing the hair away from Holly J's face.

"I want all of it."


	12. Chapter 12

_this is just a quick little filler chapter. not filler so much as dialogue, but nonetheless. i'll update again later tonight. sorry that sometimes my chapters are short. i'm a screenwriter, not so much a novelist, so my chapters often come out in scenes. thank you SO much to everyone who reviewed and keeps reading. let me know how you like it, again. i'll add better stuff in a bit. _

"So, how long have you two been together?" Lara asked casually over breakfast. She had opted for ordering in, and she and the girls had been sharing a pleasant morning of avoiding the topic of 'them'. "You _are_ together, aren't you? Not just… messing around?"

"You just want to talk about it? Just like that?" Fiona asked after practically choking on her pomegranate juice.

"Well I assumed we would. Is it supposed to be a big secret or something?" Lara half scoffed, looking to Holly J, who had gotten pale and shaky.

"No… it just, I just didn't know you'd be so open about it," Fiona admitted.

"You created an open discourse when you discussed being gay so freely with me. It's no different than if you were dating a boy. Except I don't have to worry about you getting pregnant, and I already love Holly J," Lara said sweetly, reaching across the table and patting Holly J's hand.

"Really?" Holly J asked warmly, unbelievably relieved by the words.

"Of course, Holly J. You're part of the family. Honestly, I'd been hoping that this would happen for a while, even before Fiona came out."

"You had?" Fiona asked, pleased but surprised.

"Yes! No one's better for you than Holly J. That's been proven time and again," Lara said.

Fiona smiled at her mother, grateful to be in such an open and understanding situation. She knew that many were not so lucky.

"But you're avoiding my questions," Lara got back to the matter at hand. "How long have you two been together?"

"Well, just since Friday," Fiona admitted. "But I'm surprised it hadn't happened sooner."

"As am I," Lara smiled. "So no one knows? Is it going to be kept private?"

"Our friend Anya knows," Holly J told her. "And I think my mother, though we haven't formally discussed it."

"I'm glad to hear that it won't be a secret. That would just make things unnecessarily difficult," Lara offered.

"I agree," Holly J nodded.

"You do?" Fiona asked, surprised, as they had yet to discuss discretion among a wider audience.

"I do," Holly J smiled. "I don't want to hide it."

"What about at school?" Fiona had to ask.

"Well I'm probably not going to make out with you in the hallway," Holly J laughed, "but I'm not going to act like I'm not with you. I mean, unless _you_ want to hide it," she said sadly.

"No!" Fiona told her quickly. "Of course not. I just didn't know you'd take it so well." She was beaming now, though she didn't know it.

"It's _you_, Fi. You think I'd want to hide you from anyone?" Holly J grinned. "I'm the luckiest girl on Earth. Plus, it's not like most of Degrassi will be surprised."

"I'm glad the two of you are handling this so maturely," Lara told them. "Not that I would expect anything less."

"Thank you for being so great about all of this, Mom," Fiona looked seriously at her mother.

"Oh, Fiona. I love you and I'm so glad to see you happy," Lara squeezed each of the girl's hands. "How do you think Declan will take the news?"


	13. Chapter 13

Declan. In the midst of all the excitement, neither girl had thought to think of Declan, nor how he would inevitably react. Fiona was silently terrified, of her brother's reaction, but mostly of Holly J suddenly deciding that this was all too weird and she couldn't do it. They hadn't been together long enough for Fiona to accept and believe it as truth; it was still too frail and novel. She and Holly J hadn't had a chance to seriously talk since her mother had left, and Fiona feared that the dreaded conversation of rejection was on its way.

Holly J sat, quietly contemplative. She had so much on her mind that it was impossible to separate and focus: school tomorrow, the possibility of her mother knowing, Fiona, Lara Coyne _definitely _knowing, and now Declan. And Fiona. She peeked across the kitchen to see Fiona chewing on her lip nervously, staring off into space. Holly J knew that she was scared. Scared it was over, that Holly J would freak out and leave it all as though it had never happened. And she had every reason to be afraid.

"Fi?" Holly J called from the couch. "Can we talk for a minute?"

Fiona's breath caught, but not in the euphorically dizzying way that Holly J usually made it catch. This time it was suffocating. Panicking.

"Sure," Fiona nodded too quickly and walked to the living room, opting to sit in the arm chair as opposed to on the couch with Holly J. "What's up?" she spat, obviously nervous.

"Are you ok?" Holly J asked, though she knew it was a stupid question.

"Yeah, you?" she answered quickly without contemplating the answer. If Holly J was about to rip her heart out, she wished she'd just get it over with.

"I…yeah. I just have a lot on my mind," she told the girl honestly. "I hadn't even thought about Declan," she admitted, looking at her own fidgeting hands.

"Neither had I," Fiona said, emitting an upset sigh unintentionally. "I…" she began to tremble, unsure of her words, "Is it over already?"

Holly J's heart broke, watching Fiona crumble in front of her. She saw the tears building, though Fiona was trying her best to be strong. Holly J didn't answer the question. She rose from her spot on the couch and bee-lined to the arm chair, into Fiona's lap, and clutched the girl to her, breathing in the scent of her neck.

"No, it's not over," Holly J's words were muffled by her face being buried in Fiona's hair. "It hasn't even gotten to start."

Fiona smiled, relieved, and held Holly J close, running her hands along her back. "Really?" It still seemed too good to be true.

"Yes, really," Holly J raised her head to look into Fiona's eyes. "I mean, unless _you_ want it to be-"

She was quickly silenced by Fiona's lips pressing sweetly against hers. It caught her off guard in a way that she loved. Fiona pulled away and smiled.

"I take that as a 'no'," Holly J grinned.

"Screw Declan," Fiona chuckled. "It's not like he doesn't see it coming."

Holly J quirked an eyebrow in questioning.

"Ok. Maybe he doesn't see it coming, but he won't be surprised by how _I _feel about _you," _Fiona corrected.

"What makes you say that?"

"Well I kissed him," Fiona laughed, embarrassed. "And it certainly wasn't to make _him_ jealous."

"You…" Holly J was shocked. "That's why? That long ago?" her words may have been few and simple, but they made sense to Fiona.

"Always," she admitted, a serious, loving look in her eyes.

Holly J smiled. "I see… You just wanted to be my friend all year so you could get in my pants," she smirked, earning an insulted scoff from Fiona.

"Ah! I've been with you non-stop for two days and I haven't tried to get in your pants!" Fiona argued, pulling Holly J near.

"I don't know about that…" Holly J grinned, trying to be playfully devious, but ending up mostly just being playful.

"I do. And if I remember correctly, _you _tried to get in _my _pants. Robe, rather," Fiona narrowed her eyes and watched excitedly as the blush crept across Holly J's features. "I think you _want _me to try to get in your pants," she added.

"I- I never said anything about _that_," Holly J trailed off, embarrassed.

"Too bad it's a school night," Fiona said, lost in Holly J's eyes.

"I, uh… yeah," Holly J knew that initially Fiona had been teasing, but now they were staring into each other's eyes and she had no way to escape. Not that she wanted to. "I have to go home," she said suddenly.

"Right now?" Fiona half laughed at the sudden seriousness.

"No. Maybe. I told my mom I'd sleep at home tonight, and if I don't leave now, I may not," Holly J admitted.

"I see," Fiona nodded, trying to stay strong. "You _have _to go?" she asked, trailing her fingertips up Holly J's spine, over her t-shirt.

"I do," Holly J swallowed.

"Can I kiss you first?" Fiona whispered into the girl's ear, causing her to tremble.

"Mmm hmm," she breathed out.

Fiona leaned forward swiftly and captured Holly J's lips. The kiss was immediately passionate, and after just a moment Holly J was tugging at Fiona's hair as she sucked the girl's tongue deeply into her mouth. Fiona pushed back, kissing Holly J hard as she turned them in the chair, pressing Holly J against the arm. Holly J's hands ran down Fiona's sides, stopping at the hem of her shirt and creeping under, just a little. Fiona panted. Having Holly J's hands on her already hot skin was too much—if the girl had to leave.

Fiona pulled back and looked into Holly J's wild eyes. "Sure you can't stay over?" she asked in a suddenly raspy voice, and felt Holly J shiver at the prospect.

"I…I'm sure. I'm sorry," Holly J breathed out heavily.

"Then we either need to stop kissing or you should probably go," Fiona said with a smirk. She wasn't being rude. She was right.

"Ok," Holly J nodded, in a daze. "But I don't want to…" she whined slightly, resting her head on Fiona's shoulder.

"I don't want you to," Fiona told her, holding her close.

"Tomorrow's another day, right?" Holly J chuckled, trying to calm herself.

"Right," Fiona smiled, kissing Holly J lovingly.

Holly J got to her feet reluctantly, gathered her things, and made her way to the door, with Fiona close behind.

"I love you, Holly J," Fiona whispered, kissing the girl's cheekbone gently.

"I love you," Holly J blushed, dragging herself out the door.


	14. Chapter 14

_I'm sorry it took so long to update. I'll try to keep that from happening in the future. I'm still very interested in what everyone has to say about this story. We're nearing 'do it' time for the girls and I don't really know what to do with it. I'm not very smutty, but I want to do it justice and give y'all what you want to read, so please let me know in a review or pm what direction I should take with the love making. lol. Thanks for any input you can give me. Enjoy. _

"How was the rest of your weekend?" Anya sang happily, approaching Holly J at her locker on Monday morning.

"Oh, it was ok. You?" she tried to get away with, but the beaming smile was already threatening its way onto her face.

"Holly. J." Anya enunciated, smacking the girl for playing coy. "Tell me everything."

Holly J laughed out.

"Like what? What do you expect to hear about? I talked to you Saturday night," Holly J shrugged, still trying to hide her grin.

"I expect to hear about every single thing that happened since we got off of the phone Saturday night," Anya told her seriously. "Did you do it?"

"No, we didn't do it!" Holly J yelled in a whisper.

"Really? I'm surprised," Anya told her pensively.

"Why?"

"You… and Fiona," she whispered, "It's been building and, I don't know, I guess I'm just surprised that you're able to keep from ripping each other's clothes off," she shrugged. "Now what happened?"

"Well, I got off the phone with you, and we started making out—not you and I," Holly J clarified stupidly. "I mean, me and Fi—you get it."

"I get it."

"We started making out… it started to get pretty serious, and then—"

"How serious?" Anya interrupted.

"What?" Holly J laughed.

"How serious did it get?"

Holly J shook her head, deciding to ignore the question.

"It started to get serious, and then Fiona's mom walked in."

"And saw you?"

"Nothing to see. We jumped apart pretty quickly," she laughed. "But she got it."

"So she knows?" Anya asked, wide-eyed.

"She knows. And she made us sit through the hundred-question breakfast yesterday morning."

"Wow… then what?"

"Then what-what?" Holly J asked, her brow furrowed.

"Did you make out anymore?"

"Last night- but we can't kiss without—" Holly J stopped herself, realizing she'd been tricked into giving the good information naturally.

"Without what?" Anya asked, wagging her eyebrows.

"Anya!"

"No, seriously. You can't kiss without what? It's not like you can talk to anyone else about this," Anya shrugged at herself as the best option.

"We can't kiss without getting really into it. Like, _really _into it. I knew I had to stay at my house last night so we had to stop," Holly J admitted.

"So, you _want _to do it?" Anya asked, all ears.

"I… it's not that simple," Holly J turned red as she giggled.

"It is. You want to do it _so_ bad, and she wants to, too. And you're totally just going to lose yourselves in each other and God! It's going to be so hot!" Anya had to practically fan herself.

"I assume you're talking about me?" Fiona asked with a smirk, suddenly behind the girls. "I mean, when Anya talks like _that_, it has to be about me, right?" she joked.

"Shut up," Holly J laughed under her breath, embarrassed.

"Of course we were talking about you!" Anya gushed. "I just didn't expect you to be listening," she admitted.

"So what were you talking about?" Fiona inquired with a raised eyebrow to Holly J, who still couldn't quite look her in the eye.

"Nothing," Holly J and Anya said simultaneously.

"Really?" Fiona questioned. "Cause it sounded kind of," she leaned into Holly J's ear, "_intense_ to be nothing."

Holly J practically fainted while Anya watched, amused and intrigued.

"So, how was your night?" Fiona asked Holly J huskily, intentionally.

"Um, it was … it started out better than it ended," Holly J answered, earning an excited raise of the eyebrows from Anya.

"I bet!" Anya piped up melodramatically.

"Thanks, Anya," Holly J said through her teeth, and Anya sheepishly backed away from them. "I wished I could have stayed with you…" she added when only Fiona could hear.

"I wished," Fiona said with a grin, though a serious intense gaze remained in her eyes. "Was your mom happy to see you? Did she ask you anything?"

"I didn't even see her, actually," Holly J scoffed. "She was asleep when I got home and gone by the time I woke up for school this morning. I should have stayed over."

"I don't know about that," Fiona laughed, thinking about the course of events of last night.

"I should have stayed over," Holly J repeated seriously, looking deeply into Fiona's eyes. "I wanted to," she admitted, not breaking her gaze.

"_I_ wanted to. I mean, I wanted you to," Fiona said, still staring.

"So then… maybe we should," Holly J said quietly, tentatively.

"Maybe we should what?" Fiona asked, to clarify that Holly J was really saying what Fiona _thought _she was saying.

"Have a sleepover," Holly J blushed. "Sometime…soon, when your mom won't be dropping in," she added boldly.

"Like when?" Fiona asked, stepping nearer and running her hand subtly down Holly J's side.

"Um…" Holly J trailed off, while Fiona's hand trailed along her. "Tonight?" she answered instinctively.

"Tonight?" Fiona asked, stunned by the answer, losing her cool front.

"If you want," Holly J shrugged, brushing the hair away from Fiona's face.

"I want," Fiona nodded. "Do you work tonight?"

"No," Holly J said quickly. "Just have to go pick up my stuff after school."

"Ok."

"Meet me at my locker?" Holly J asked, the excitement audible in her voice.

"Sure. But I'm going to see you for almost every class between now and end of day," Fiona grinned, nudging Holly J's shoulder.

"Right…" Holly J blushed, embarrassed and overwhelmed at the mere thought of their sleepover. "Good."


End file.
